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    « All Faith All The Time | Main | The Invisible Man »

    Lawn OCD

    The state of my lawn has some bearing on my mental health. This is dumb because I don’t even take care of the lawn; Rich does. When the lawn is unkempt or, heaven forbid, has dandelions I feel out of kilter. Nearly anxious. Of course I don’t actually go out and mow it or weed it myself. I nag Rich until he does it. Fortunately he respects my craziness and our lawn generally looks good. I am having a rough spring though because we had some lawn grubs last year which left us with some patchy areas where undesirable grasses have grown in. I try not to look at those patches. Instead I focus on a pretty, mowed area and take cleansing breaths. I remind myself that with three active children and a dog that we are never going to have lawn perfection. I try to be content with neatly mowed and dandelion free.

    I never, ever look next door.

    Next door lives a very nice couple who have three children six and under. They also own a business whose busiest month is June and the husband works for an agricultural company and is nearly never home from spring to late summer. Lawn mowing is, understandably, way down on their list of priorities. I understand this. I am sympathetic even.

    It drives me straight round the bend and back.

    Last week I took this picture. Ours is the lawn on the left.

    After I took the picture I breathed into a bag and put my head between my legs. Then I had a long talk with myself about how having nice neighbors next door is better than having a nice lawn next door. Then I went inside and asked Rich if he could maybe accidentally mow the lawn next door along with our own. No dice.

    About an hour later, God took pity on my crazy self. I was out front when the neighbors were getting into their car. She complimented my flowers and apologized for their lawn. I smiled and pretended it was no big deal and reminded them how busy they are. Then I told them that I have two lawn-mowing children in my house and offered that if they ever wanted to hire them they could. She jumped all over that and now Hayden has the job of mowing their lawn all summer for $15 a week and in the process, saving my sanity.

    I kid you not, I was giddy for the entire rest of the day.

    I think that, someday when we retire, I’m going to look for a nice patio home at the edge of a golf course!

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