I worry sometimes that I give the impression here that I am handling this whole divorce thing with grace or class. It’s true that that is my goal, but I have to tell you - it doesn’t always turn out that way. I have had more than a couple of moments I wish I could change and have said more than a few words that I wish I could take back.
Yesterday is an excellent example of graceless bad humor.
I woke up crabby. No, that’s not right. I was not crabby. I was angry. Angry because I now have to do things I wish that I did not. Angry that things that did not used to be my job now are, because everything is now my job. Specifically I was angry that I had to work on the bathroom remodel.
Remember last spring when we put bead board paneling up in the bathroom? Well work on the project ended once the paneling was up. I have been living with exposed nails on unpainted wood since March. All the materials to finish the job have been sitting there since then, but it hasn’t gotten done. However, since I have a painter coming next week, I have to get the walls ready for her. This meant that I had to fill all the nail holes with wood putty which I will spend the week sanding.
I am not a good sander.
Sanding requires a degree of perfectionism that I do not possess. I’m more of an, “eh, good enough” kind of gal. That won’t work for sanding. Even the slightest imperfection will be a glaring eyesore once the paint goes on.
If you need me this week I will be in the bathroom saying bad words.
By the time I got the nail holes filled the kids were avoiding me. I told them up front, “I am in a bad mood. It is not your fault that I am in a bad mood but you would be wise to steer clear and get your chores done.” They believed me.
After the nail holes I had to caulk all the seams in the paneling. Fun fact: I have never caulked before. I made a gigantic mess yesterday - and that was just when I was trying to figure out how to open the danged tube.
As it turns out though, I am not half bad at caulking. In fact, I think I did a pretty good job and it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. Here is the seam you see above after I caulked it. Not too shabby.
Of course I can not get the picture to load in the correct direction, but that’s not important right now. What is important is that the caulking is done.
The caulking is done AND I changed seven light bulbs which probably does not sound impressive until you know that I haven’t changed more than a handful of light bulbs in the past 21 years. So seven in one day is a big deal.
And one of them was in the garage.
After I did everything that has not been my job in the past, I did what has always been my job. I made dinner. Reagan laughed when I told her what we were having and asked, “Rough day?” It was a comfort food meal.
Baked potato soup and apple cobbler. Food for the soul.
I have to tell you: they were both delicious. I will always be better at baking and cooking that I am at sanding or caulking BUT it turns out that I am capable of doing all of it.
As I snuggled in with the kids land our bowls of cobbler ast night to watch the season premiere of Once Upon a Time, I felt good about the accomplishments of the day. I may not always handle this situation with grace or class or even good humor, but I AM handling it.
Of course, you should check in with me next weekend to see if the sanding got done.