What Gets Me Through - Phil and Paul
Sunday, August 26, 2012 at 9:38AM Two men have served as important guides to me through this trial. Two very different men. One was a first century radical evangelist. The other is a 21st century psychological “expert”.
I first read the quote attributed to Dr. Phil on my friend Lori’s blog and it one of the most annoying things I have ever heard. It is this:
You don’t have to want to do it. You just have to do it.
This quote has all sorts of truly horrible applications like, “You don’t have to want to say no to the brownie. You just have to do it.” or “You don’t have to want to get up early and exercise. You just have to do it.”
As annoying as this phrase is though, it’s true and it works. Ways I have applied it lately:
- I don’t have to want to get out of bed. I just have to do it.
- I don’t have to want to put a smile on my face. I just have to do it.
- I don’t have to want to keep hoping. I just have to do it.
- I don’t have to want to forgive. I just have to do it.
- I don’t have to want to keep trying. I just have to do it.
And you know what? When you “just do it”, the “want to” nearly always follows. Feeling follows action.
One thing I found though that I can’t “just do” though, is sleep. I endured weeks and weeks of tortured insomnia not because I was not exhausted - I was (and am). But no matter how tired I was, as soon as my head hit the pillow my head would fill with terrifying thoughts and cruel voices.
You are unlovable. You are a failure. Your kids are going to be ruined. You’ll lose your house. People are talking about you. You will never be happy again… .
On and on it went. I’m crying typing these words remembering it. Then, after I’d fall asleep I’d wake up over and over again from the nightmares.
It. Was. Awful.
Until I learned to apply these words from Paul:
6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. - Phillipians 4:6-7
As tired as I’ve been as I lie down at night, I find that if I can concentrate enough to apply this that I’m asleep within minutes and the nightmares are greatly reduced.
Here’s how it works: I tell God, “Okay. Here is my list of worries.” And then I run through them. Sometimes the list has several worries, sometimes it’s just one big, hairy worry. When I have finished the list I ask God to take them from me and work on them. Then, before I can yank them back again, I start listing the things I am thankful for right now.
The list of things I am thankful for?
Well it’s a hundred times longer than my list of worries. It includes everything from the obvious (my kids, my health, the roof over my head, the food in my cupboards) to the small details (blueberries on my cereal, purring cats, hot showers). I have yet to get to the end of things I am thankful for before I fall asleep. And when I wake up at 2:00 a.m. with my heart pounding? I just force myself to start being thankful again.
It works. Astonishingly well actually and I consider a good night’s sleep during this time to be “… God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.”
In the interest of full disclosure though, I freely admit that before I get in bed I take a couple of melatonin and two Benadryl. And if the stress induced nausea is too bad, a Dramamine as well. Go ahead and judge, but this finely tuned cocktail is effective, safe and legal.
So two men who have nothing in common aside from four letter names that start with P have been guiding me through this and I add both of them to the list of things I am thankful for.
Big D, God, What Gets Me Through
Reader Comments (12)
The introspective writing we talked about months ago? Turns out you can do it on your blog. Your storytelling had headed that direction of late, and I am enjoying the brief moments of seeing and hearing you deeply.
So many people would benefit from this-- it should go viral.
Huh. Odd you'd post this on the day we sang "name your many blessings, name them one by one. . . " in church today. It's so true. I've done it - I've also prayed through each person at church row by row, seat by seat - and usually end up asleep before I get through. . . . God IS faithful Mindee. I am praying for peace for you, and blessings.
Heather
Mindee- I'm so glad that my silly Dr. Phil mantra has helped you too. I really do employ that twisted line of thinking all the time and you are right, wanting very often follows doing. Or, at least it doesn't feel as painful as I thought it might.
I'm even more thankful that you are finding a way to turn your worries into prayer. Sometimes, that's all we can do and if it helps you rest then I would say that has been one powerful prayer. During one particularly dark night of my life when I couldn't conjure up a single coherent thought to turn it into prayer, I simply said over and over, "Thy will be done..." That helped too.
Love you.
I don't want to resist the cookies in the kitchen...I just have to do it.
I don't want to prepare for this dumb hurricane...I just have to do it.
Mindee, there is absolutely no telling how many others you are helping with your truths...please keep telling them. Purge yourself of these worries and give them over to God. Let us worry and pray for you as well. Right now you have to do what you have to do to get past this hump...and sometimes that includes medication, prescribed or otherwise. Don't beat yourself up about that. Mark that worry off your list.
Dear Lord, wrap your arms around my friend Mindee and let her feel your peace...he's got you, Mindee. Relax in his arms, friend. :) Hugs :)
Thank you for this. It is an honest narrative of what works for you, and could for someone else. Take the help where you can get it, be it some chemistry to help you sleep, or wise men whose names start with P. So sorry you are going through this, so glad you have a strong faith. May god wrap his arms around you tonight, and all nights, and snuggle you to sleep.
I am so sorry for the pain and worry this season in life is taking you through. God will lead you through and has a plan-even though you can't see it yet. Thank you for being a good example to everyone on trusting in God, even when times are unbearable.
I think that is a great practice that many others could use regardless of their circumstances. We could all benefit from letting go of our worries and literally counting our blessings on a daily basis!!
I am in awe of your words, my daughter. Beautifully said and I
have high hopes for you and your family.
powerful words. love you!
Thank you for your honestly Mindee...so often over the past few years i also had awful cruel voices telling me the reason i was not able to get pregnant again was because i was a terrible mother and several other things as well. Everyday i put on a ring that says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything present your requests to God." Thankful for that promise from God and for the hope that He gives us even in the midst of incredible pain.
Hoping to walk with you again soon once i kick this cold i have. Love you!
Beautifully written! When I first read this post, I felt like someone had taken off blinders I didn't know I was wearing. Your words spoke truths to me in ways even at that time I was unaware of. "You don’t have to want to do it. You just have to do it." has become my go-to motivation for so many things, especially getting healthy again (which I had to do anyway, but I spent so much time ruminating over how much I wanted to eat junk). And, now my car rides have become so much more enjoyable as.I list out all my worries and then just as quickly try to name as many blessings until I arrive at my destination. Instead of writing a novel, I'll just end with this: Thank you for putting this out there. I may be in a totally different situation, but sometimes we all need to hear these things.