I should not be writing a blog post right now. My frame of mind is not good. I can never remember the difference between metaphor and analogy, but whichever it is here is how I would compare the last few months:
April - Bolt of lightening
May - Severe thunderstorm
June - Earthquake
July - Drought
August - Hurricane
And just as I though I was recovering from all of that and starting to heal, WHAM! This week I got hit by a tidal wave.
My friend Christine was sitting with me at my kitchen table the other night as I sobbed after the latest blow. “This is it.” she said “This is the low point.”
“Really?” I asked “Because people keep saying that and then it turns out that I can go even lower.”
See? I told you I should not be blogging right now. I am a depressing specimen. I am determined though, to share what I can because I know I am not the only person in pain in this big world.
One thing I have come to appreciate in this time is Christian music. I don’t dare turn on the 80’s station because those songs are stuffed full of memories and associations and it’s too painful. Country music, which I used to love, has lyrics that hit too close to home. So I have been pretty much exclusively listening to Contemporary Christian music. It helps to hear songs about real, lasting love. The kind of love that can never be taken from me.
This is the song I had to put on today. It has become my theme song for this time.
No matter how many disasters are coming my way, I have to keep getting back up again. Lying down and quitting is not an option. I will not let this situation define my life. I refuse to be miserable forever - there is too much good in my life and three kids depending on me to hold it together.
I will shine again.
But I would really, truly like to be done with the natural disasters please. Sunny skies and calm breezes would be most welcome.