What Gets Me Through - Low Standards
Sunday, September 9, 2012 at 4:28PM Currently, I am …
Working full time.
Doing the single parent thing.
Keeping up with three kids’ schedules.
Dealing with strong emotions.
It’s a lot to accomplish and I have had to prioritize my time and energy, so standards have been lowered on several fronts.
Do you remember how I used to plan my menus five weeks out so we had home cooked meals six nights a week?
That’s not happening anymore.
Generally it’s just Hayden, Faith and me here for dinner so I have gotten more relaxed about what we eat. There are a lot more thrown together meals, more take out and fewer home made desserts. Also, since the kids are packing their own lunches now I am relying heavily on packaged fruit and cheez-its and cookies.
You know what?
It’s ok. No one is starving. No one is really complaining and once volleyball season is through I hope to regroup a bit and get back on track. Family meal time is important no matter what the family looks like. And things haven’t totally gone to pot. The other day I was standing, with Faith, at the grocery store in front of the Hamburger Helper display contemplating whether or not I’ve sunk that low yet.
Good news!
I haven’t!
Yet.
Similarly, I’ve become more relaxed about chores. I’ve never been a stellar house cleaner but I’ve had to let go even more. All of the chores are getting done, but with much less yelling on my part. The kids are pitching in with fewer complaints and in turn, I’m turning a blind eye to less than perfect results. As long as the kitchen and the guest bathroom are clean, we get by.
Right now what is important is all of us getting enough rest and being there for each other as much as we can. Whether or not we do that in a freshly vacuumed house is not important. We can have good conversation over store bought chicken fingers just as well as we can over home made ones.
But if anyone is wondering what to get as a gift for someone in my situation, I highly recommend a house cleaning service!
During times of stress, what’s the first thing to go in your house?
What Gets Me Through, home
Reader Comments (14)
Your so right, cooking and cleaning are the first thing to go for me too. I know I am not doing well, when we've had both dairy queen and pizza for dinner in a weeks time. But luckily it doesn't last long, praying for you and your doing a wonderful time!! XOXO
Hell, we eat out and I let the house go even in the best of times ;)
My middle daughter gave me a little sign for Christmas last year that said, "Good moms have sticky floors, dirty ovens, and happy kids."
All that other stuff will wait for you; the kids, however, need us NOW.
We lost a student this past Friday night to a car accident...his mom and dad are coming to get his things from the dorm and my husband just left to meet them there. Who cares about the dirty house and whether or not ya'll eat Hamburger Helper sometimes, right? Give em hugs and kisses every. single. day. and let the other stuff go...and the guilt too. You are a great mom, Mindee!
Mindee, I get it. So do so many others. The hardest thing to do is let go of your own expectations and deal with reality. For me, having three autistic kids is like living in a combat zone, and I am never able to be the kind of mom I want to be, or have the kind of house I want. It's just survival, day-to-day survival, and some days that's all you can aspire towards. Eventually it will get better, and you can throw in a new expectation here or there. Until then, do what you have to do to get through the day, and let guilt or unrealistic expectations go.
I'm still thinking of you. (hugs)
There is no shame in eating Cheeze-Its. :)
My floors are consistently the dirtiest parts of my house. I could sweep every day (not that it will ever happen) and by the morning there would still be a visible layer of dust and dog hair. I don't like; I often curse it. But it is what it is.
Life is messy. And so is my house. Even more so when life is stressful. When I know people are coming over, I make sure it's clean. When I know they're not, I live with a little extra dirt. And I'm fine with that. It will get cleaned sooner or later.
My baby is now 6 weeks and I am finally making meal plans again. As long as we have clean clothes and food, I am good. The freezer section is my sanctuary during times of stress. And starbucks!
I learned a long time ago that the Hamburger Helper Cheesy Mac ain't bad when you are in a hurry & tired of eating take-out! Kudos to you for seeing the good things in a tough situation. You remain in my prayers.
You can usually tell my stressed times by a cluttered messy house, and thrown together meals. Who cares, as long as I can be patient and kind to my family, the rest is okay. You are an awesome mom, with really great kids.
Cleaning for sure. I don't need much of a reason to not dust. I find cooking sort of therapeutic so I might ccok more in times of stress. I say do whatever works for you! I'm glad you're writing.
PS-four hours late but I made it : )
Meal planning is always the first to go, but considering I'm not great with that on my best day, I'm not sure that's saying much. I think I'm just always looking for an excuse... :)
I think you are doing great and you absolutely need to give yourself a break right now. One day at a time, no big plans, no big expectations. Just be gentle with yourself.
The first thing to go around here is meals! Are meals? Whatever. I stop cooking. Especially if Mike is not around (meetings, out of town). At the beach, these kinds of meals are known as Make Do Suppers. :) The kids were very familiar with them this summer.
Thinking of you, a lot. Praying a lot too.
Laundry is first to go in my house. And on the day you wake up to no clean underwear, you realize how bad it is that you chose to give up laundry instead of cooking dinner :)
Mindee, one of these days i will sit down write you a letter and tell you a story:-) Thank you for bravely sharing yours. The pain and trials you are suffering now will open the doors for you to effectively minister to so many others going through hard stuff. Its so hard to be real in front of a world that wants perfection. Thanks for being real! I cling on to verses like these and hope it encourages you.... Isaiah 46:4 "Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you."
Yes, yes! A cleaning service! Or better yet, Alice from the Brady Bunch. I wish she were living with us for all time. I'd ship her to you if I could.
"Right now what is important is all of us getting enough rest and being there for each other as much as we can." you could be focusing on controlling your environment right now instead of these needed things. your insight is a beautiful gift from the lord and to your kids. long live pre-packaged foods!