No, that is not a euphemism. I really am in a bowling league.
It’s true. Every other Friday I join the other secretaries/friends/peoplewholiketolaughatme at a bowling alley and we bowl in a league.
We even have a team name: The Pinheads. Which I was not there to vote on, but it’s fine.
I even have pictures to prove it.
Here are my feet in rental shoes that a hundred strangers have worn before me:
And since I have big feet, probably most of those strangers were men which is completely gross, but I’ve done it.
Even more risky?
Here is my hand with my fingers stuck into the dark holes of a bowling ball that even more strangers have had their hands in.
And I do not know where their hands have been.
Which is horrifying, but I’ve done it.
So bowling has been a very stretching experience. Even more so when you consider that I have only bowled twice before in my entire life
- My college boyfriend took me bowling with some friends of his and I was really terrible at it and got embarrassed and worried that he thought I was a dork. So I cried. Which pretty much proved that I was a dork.
- One winter in Ogallala, we were all at my parent’s lake house and got bored so we loaded the kids up and took them into town to go bowling. We used the bumpers and I am a much better bowler when there are bumpers.
Given that history, I’m not really sure how I ended up in a bowling league. Let’s just say that the other secretaries/friends/peoplewholiketolaughatme are quite compelling. And persistent. And literally would not take no for an answer.
Their punishment is that they have me on their team and I am a very, very bad bowler. I have the highest handicap on the team and last Friday I bowled three gutter balls in a row. Thankfully I haven’t cried yet, but I have caught the super good bowlers on the other lanes (the kind who have their own shoes and balls) looking at me out of the sides of their eyes and nudging each other.
I’m so glad I can provide entertainment.
I have two bowling nights left in this round which doesn’t really merit getting bowling lessons so I’ll just fumble along.
But if any of you have any bowling tips, feel free to pass them along!